Wakeboarding + Frosted Mini Wheats + a Golf Course

Pop quiz, everyone!

What do a golf course club house, wakeboarding, and Frosted Mini Wheats have in common?

I know: this is just like when you're at the store and the person in front of you is buying Ziploc bags, shaving cream, and a 20lb bag of cat food. What on Earth...?

So, any ideas? If you guessed my dream the other night, then you're either an incredible guesser (bravo!) or I already told you (boo). I also had a dream that I discussed miniature lanterns and plain M&Ms versus peanut M&Ms with Sasquatch, but that doesn't really pertain to this question.

You may have guessed that my dream took place at the golf course. Good job! I'll save you from guessing the rest...

It all started when Karen and I decided to take up wakeboarding. This itself may amuse those of you who know us in real life. I'm not sure about Karen's watersporting past but I can truthfully say that I have no experience with large bodies of water or sports performed on or in them (though I've looked at them a lot...) That said, I don't really know that my dream definition of wakeboarding is the actual definition of wakeboarding, but we'll go with it.

(Note: I just Googled it. Wakeboarding in my dream isn't wakeboarding in real life. I was really bodyboarding. Heh.)

So. "Wakeboarding." We're on it.

Turns out, in Dreamland there's a wakeboarding club just down the street from me. How fortuitous is that?? Even in my dream I realize that this can't be a common thing in Michigan.

Not being a professional golfer either, I had expectations of what the inside of the club house would look like.

What I imagined was this:

What it really looked like was this:

Yeah, it was basically a mud cave. Regardless Karen and I busted into that place totally stoked.  I was already in a wetsuit (and no coat in January.)

While Karen was putting her stuff on the "beach" (ie. muddy bank), I ran into the water like, "Eeeeeee!!!!!!"

It was so awesome, you guys! Yay!!!

So there were these small waves, then a large one, then suddenly the waves stopped and the water started receding.

Noooooooo!!!!! I just got here!!!

I chased the water toward the back of the room, then down this muddy tunnel/hallway, and into a smaller wading room.

The smaller room had to be a kiddie wading pool or something, which is ridiculous because little babies would have to get through a huge wave cavern and swim through a long hallway to get to it, but whatever. I'm not an architect.

Back in that little room, I noticed that some little kid left their bag of Frosted Mini Wheats behind and it had spilled out onto the muddy floor. I was thinking about people not picking up their own trash (losers) when the water started up again. I out-ran it all the way to the "beach" where Karen was. (She never got in the water. I don't really know that she even brought a swimsuit. Maybe she was sitting there reading? Or crocheting?)

Karen = unimpressed. Heather = absurd giddiness.

The water rushed back. I turned to jump in and--
And awr.

On its way back in, the water had brought that spilled bag of Frosted Mini Wheats, which had somehow multiplied into a billion little bite-sized pieces. The water was muddy brown and full of cereal. It looked like Mini Wheats in gross chocolate milk.

Ew.

And that's why I'm not a professional wakeboarder. Or bodyboarder.

Yet.