Someone Finally Admitted It

You guys, I'm kind of in shock right now.

Remember the little bits of things I've told you about grad school this year? No? Well, basically, my last two years have been like this:

But then, when I figured out that I would have enough classes and credits to graduate in December 2011 (back in late winter/early spring of 2011), I realized that I just had to suffer through 2011. To hell with whatever happens in 2011-- I'll be free by the start of 2012!!

So all year, I've been like

I applied for graduation and I've been getting lots of paperwork from UM about when to walk, cap and gown, etc., but then I was looking at my own paperwork and it occurred to me that I might be missing a class.

I emailed the office to see if they could check their records and got the reply that, 

I emailed back to ask what the official policies were for transferring between programs-- I had been in one and swapped to another. Technically, I have the magic number of credits needed, but New Program won't accept one of Old Program's classes. 

I emailed the office and got back another reply.

"Hope that helps!"

Wait...

What?

What does that have to do with a request for a copy of the policy? What does that have to do with any policy? Timeline for WHAT???

Needless to say, it didn't help.

I looked into an appeal on allowing that one course but no such luck. Why should such luck begin now, anyway? So, fine. All I need to take is an elective. It's not the biggest deal and shouldn't be too terrible, right?

Yesterday was the first day to register for next semester. I popped online, found my class-- 

Finally!!! Someone ADMITTED that grad school means nothing! They're even ADMITTING that despite this amazing Masters degree, I HAVE NO FUTURE!!!

And the most amazing part??

I HAVE NO FUTURE THROUGH 2099!!!


Here's hoping I can live to 117 so I can have a life.

Although...

I do feel a little better about where I am in life, knowing that it was all an inevitable series of happenings orchestrated by the Ultimately Malicious.

The Most Confusing Concert Experience Ever.

Last week, Jessica scored some last minute tickets to see Panic! At The Disco. It was a sold out show so she got them just in time, and it was a pretty stinkin' awesome show. We didn't really know much about the opening bands, Foxy Shazam or fun., but I think it was unanimous that the music of all three bands was pretty much fantastic.

The only thing we didn't really get was the performance by Foxy Shazam.

And by didn't get, I mean we were flat out confused. And made uncomfortable. And generally in shock.

It looked like this:

The bass player was balancing his bass upside down on his hand and walking around. The trumpet guy was throwing his trumpet in the air then putting it on the ground and humping it. Keyboard dude would dramatically stand on his keyboard after every song and randomly during some songs. The guitar guy was just standing there playing with this ridiculously huge afro when the lead singer jumped on his shoulders and started humping the dude's head, then he (the singer) was running around the stage like a monkey on his hands and feet and doing sommersaults all over--- The drummer was the most normal dude out there and that's probably just because he was hiding behind the drumset.

To say the very least, it was stimulus overload for Jessica and me. We were like this:

~ UPDATE ~

Upon reading this, the Nerak laughed about how old Jessica and I appear to be in this post, us complaining about the music of today's youth and their wild ways and all.

I said, "Well, we WERE the oldest people there besides the parents who brought their kids... The kids in front of us were like 12!"

So now, I think we must've looked more like this at the concert:

Getting old is sad.

I'm Too Wimpy For A Badass Handshake

Last night I had class with my peeps.

Jessica and Joannah were greeting each other with some gnarly finger wiggling.

When I saw this, I was all,

To which Monica was like,

That being moderately successful (I'm not as hood as you'd expect, evidently), Monica decided we were ready to jump right into creating our own.

I guess that was my cue to mimic her and bump elbows. My bad. But Monica has patience and kept going.

And as her fist flew at my face, I realized at some unidentifiable point I had lost my interest in secret handshakes.

Elephants 101

Melissa is an artist. She draws elephants. Beautiful elephants.

Then she asked me to draw an elephant for her. The result?

Weee! That's me on an elephant!

Monica took pity on me and showed me how to doodle one that didn't look like a dog. Her version is on top. Mine... well, it's not so much an elephant as it is, ya know, a mutant with a mohawk.

PS: I drew this stuff on Monica's iPad2!! Ooooo. Anybody wanna buy me a Julymas present???

Real doodles, on real paper.

Clearly, I haven't had proper time to blog in a while so I think your next surprise post will be a conglomeration of unimaginably random things that have happened to me over the last month. It's going to be, in a word, AMAZING!
Until then, I thought you might enjoy these doodles that I drew in class.

Exhibit 1: I think this was supposed to Monica with a ponytail.

Exhibit 2: I was sad that day...

(My favorite is me with crazy eyes, next to me... skydiving? Holy crap, you guys, look how SAD I was!!! 

And that bottom right picture-- was I haven't a seizure??)

Exhibit 3: How come you guys didn't sign me up with a shrink or something?

(Number 3 is how I feel when I say "emo.")

Exhibit 4: Monica clearly distracted me with talk of travel. As you can see, I made up my mind.

Exhibit 5: Oh, and Deyhana was there, too, but she was ignoring me, setting up a birthday party or something.

Overly dramatic reactions

Once in a while I surprise myself with my ridiculousness. My reactions to even basic things are overly dramatic. Today, I was thankful that I'm not the only one.

Thanks, Deyhana! It's good to know I'm not the only one!

Daydreaming

Class starts in about 45 minutes. All my 8,000 papers have officially been submitted. This is what I'm thinking:

We aren't in Tuesday today, but Wednesday is cancelled.

This was me last week.

This is me today (Monday.)

As you may have learned, I have this horrible affliction called "grad school." It's destroyed me.

I used to be like this.

But then one day, I decided I didn't have enough debt and I had too much time and happiness in my life, so I thought it would be cool to get my Masters degree.

This happened.

At first, professors lulled me into a false sense of security. I knew more than they were teaching, assignments were a joke-- grad school was easy!

But then they realized what they were doing.

They put their evil forces together, just like in that Batman movie where Chris O'Donnell played hot Robin, only I have no hot Robin. I have these guys:

(Love you guys!)

Once Evil united, I was pretty much screwed. It went like this:

Hence:

You'll see a lot of that blank expression, I think.

Oh, and because I don't think my picture was clear enough, here's a breakdown of my life before: