Is it just me?

I have a confession to make. Sometimes the little things set me off. It doesn't even have to start with one of those sneaky hate spirals that Ali wrote about on Hyperbole and a Half-- it just springs up out of nowhere. Someone will say something totally innocent and probably not even think when they're saying it, and I'll get kind of ornery about it.

Do you get like that too?

The Nerak is with me often enough so she could probably gauge if I'm overreacting on this, but this is the one that usually gets me.

 And in my head, I'm ALWAYS like: 

I don't know. Some people are more sensitive than others so maybe I'm over-thinking it... I mean, I'm not ornery, am I?

Spring has sprung... or HAS it?

This morning, I left for work after it had been snowing and freezing raining all night.

(Start shoveling montage.)

For those of you who remember Snowpocalypse 2011, like two months ago, we got like 10" of snow in a day and it was like Y2K all over again. As if the world was ending... But today's snow was way worse than that. We had about 5" of snow in our driveway, covering a sheen of ice and covered in a sheen of ice. At least with Snowpacolypse I could get out of my driveway. Granted I seem to be the only person who had any problems today but I still thought it was ridiculous. Super wet and heavy snow, plus ice? That's way more of a pain than the Snowpacolypse stuff.

But shoveling wasn't so bad, besides heavy. It wasn't frigidly cold out and the breeze was just right. :)

This is what happens when it's 5 degrees outside.

Michigan winter can be brutal. It's a fact of life. Having grown up in Michigan all my life, I have experienced many of winter's little tricks. My nose has frozen pinched shut. Tears have frozen on my face. I've probably been dangerously close to losing limbs. I've driven in umpteen inches of snow. It is what it is in Michigan.

Last night we had a blizzard. The wind was howling, snow was blowing, and we ended up with a good four or five inches at least.

Dad came home last night and said it was pretty much the iciest ever out, which is a total exaggeration having lived through many an ice storm, but I understood that he meant the roads seriously sucked.

My work never closes-- ever-- so this morning I got up for work and headed into town. You should know, if you don't already, that Michigan is broke, especially my hometown. The plows stopped last night at 8pm because they couldn't keep up and I'd swear on my life that Longway wasn't even looked at for plowing. Needless to say, the roads were thick with snowy ruts.

Driving in snow is a fantastic lesson in physics. Sometimes I'm amazed at how it all works, like when you're going straight then the car swerves a little and you're still going straight even though you're at a 35 degree angle. It's awesome (if it's me and nobody else is around.)

Anyway, I drove like a champion and just about made it to work when realized that I never got gas the other day. In this sort of weather, I'm not taking the risk of a sputtering gas tank. It was 5 degrees out this morning.

I stopped at the gas station that I hate but always go to (a blog for that another time) and pulled up to the pump. I thought, "Wow. That's a mighty frosted pump there," but parked anyway.

I got out, swiped my credit card, and waited.... And waited...

I started poking some buttons, trying to get it to do something more than ask if I want a car wash, and finally gas pump was like, "OMG! It's cold!" and stopped working. It froze. Literally, I think.

So I went inside and asked gas station lady to cancel my thing and she told me to move around to pump 10 or whatever. I move, pump the gas successfully, but then it wouldn't print my receipt. Duh. That should've been obvious.

So I went back inside and the lady was like, "You just wanted to get out of that cold. Can I offer you a free hot chocolate for all the hassle?" 

It occurred to me as I got back into my car that nobody else was at any of the pumps and that I hadn't seen any other cars at the gas station, which is normally busy. She was probably just giving me stuff to thank me for being the only person she's seen all day.  

Once I got to work, a "needy" guy looking for free gloves stopped by and rang the doorbell. I let him in (to look up directions for the place he was really looking for) and the doorbell stuck. For 30 minutes it went on, non-stop, until our exhibit guy came by with a space heater and held it in front of the doorbell to thaw it out. Two computery things freezing in one morning? That's new.

Gotta give props to winter for being so hardcore.

How I Avoid Speeding Tickets

Like most people, I love to sing in the car. LOVE IT. I'm a big time transit rockstar. I sing. I dance. I have fun.
This is me:

(If you know random things about me, you'll know this part is my jam (at 5:55).)

But when a car pulls up next to me, I do what everyone else does: I act cool, like I wasn't just actin' a fool.

Sometimes if I'm in the middle of dancing, I try to act smooth like I was really just reaching for something or changing the station. Don't lie. You all do this too.

Evidently what makes me different than most of you is that when I pass a cop car, or a cop passes me, I do not stop singing/dancing/actin' the fool.

I kick it up a notch.

My theory is that if I'm speeding and look like I'm TOTALLY caught up in my music, the cop will be all, "LOL! Look at that ridiculous girl! Has she no shame??"

Worst case scenario (in my head) is that he'll pull me over and be like, "Listen... I know you were really into that song but you gotta pay attention. I'll give you a warning..."

Either way, I don't have a ticket. So far my theory has worked out. Of course, I don't really tend to drive that much over the speed-limit anyway because I'm afraid a ticket with full-coverage insurance will murder my bank account.

Yeah... Something like that.

This advice really only applies during the day. At night the police can't see you-- and neither can other cars. There's no need to stop singing and dancing when nobody can see you.

Keep rockin', bloggies!

Wooooo!

*dweedle-ah dweedle-ah weeeeeeeeeee bah bow bow bow!!* [<-- awesome guitar finish]

The first snow of the year can only mean one thing: bad drivers.

You may remember a few hours ago when I was like, "Yay, snow!!!"

I should have disclaimed that with, "I love snow, but I don't love driving in snow."

Particularly the first snow of the season.

There are always people who drive, like, 5 miles an hour, and while I appreciate their value for life, they drive me nuts. I passed one of those people tonight.

Conversely I was passed by this guy:

I hate this guy. "Four-wheel drive" doesn't mean "invincibility." It means, "I have traction with all 4 wheels so that if I go in a ditch, I may not have to ask passing cars for help." May not.

I was on my way home tonight when Mr. I'm-Driving-Entirely-Too-Fast-For-These-Conditions passed me. I've illustrated the next few moments for you.

Me: It's cool, dude. You can pass me on this 4 lane road. That's why we have all those lanes. But you might wanna slow down a tad before you hit that intersection...

Him: Blah!!! I'm reckless and have no value on anyone else's life!! Hahahah--! WHOA! ICE! Where'd that come from?

Him: What? No damage was done in all that? That girl has a green arrow and now I'm in a totally different direction but hey-- it used to be my turn. I think I'll go now too!

Amazingly we both survived that intersection. I'm sure all the cars who were waiting at that light were full of crapped-pants-ed passengers who all were nearly taken out in Dude's crazy spin cycle.

Unfortunately as soon as I turned that corner there was a truck that had slid into a ridiculously deep ditch. I'm not sure (a) why the ditch is so deep there, or (b) how he managed to get the end of the bed in the hole, but he was pretty dang lucky he hadn't gone front end in or he would've been (a) hurt, and/or (b) trapped inside.

I made it home in one piece-- hooray!-- but I fear my drawing skills have deteriorated in the anxiety of it all. I'm usually much better at cars, or at least at trucks, but hey, at least I managed to keep my real car looking good!

YAY SNOW!!!!